This column first appeared in Malta Today

I have been writing about domestic violence for almost 30 years.

When I look back at my columns, usually penned after yet another woman has been murdered, they all point to the same, by now all too familiar, themes. The lack of police protection, women who report and are left vulnerable, male rage, a culture of misogyny, the possessiveness, the claim that she provoked him and, of course, the usual refrain “but men can be victims too.”

As yet another woman, Charlotte Zammit, joins this horrifying list, it often feels like there is nothing else left to write about, because the problem keeps growing no matter what we say. What is also unfortunately growing is the resentment so many men seem to feel when we highlight the female victims who have lost their lives at the hands of their husbands, their partners or their exes.

I know that it is difficult and perhaps uncomfortable for some to accept, but there is irrefutable evidence that it is mostly men who murder the women in their lives. This is not just from the data we have in Malta but globally. Women rarely murder their current or former husbands/partners – they might exact their revenge by damaging his car or other personal property, but in most instances, they just pack up and leave. I was reminded of exactly one case which occurred locally, in which a woman resorted to murder. In 2021, Filipino national Mayumi Santos Patacsil killed her partner, Marcelino Montalban Saraza at their Mellieha residence, and she is currently serving a life sentence.

In contrast, over the last decade alone (2016 – 2026), 14 women have been killed by men with whom they had some kind of relationship. In 6 of these cases, the perpetrator was an ex-husband or ex-partner. 3 cases involved the actual husband/partner. In 2 cases, both double murders, the culprit was the son of one of the women. In the majority of the murders, the attack took place in the woman’s home. Two were attacked after being stalked: Bernice Cassar was outside her place of work, Chantelle Chetcuti was out socialising. Shannon Mak was in the street outside of her ex’s apartment after driving him home.

I could go even further back to cite more examples and the pattern will remain the same. Between 1978- 2015, out of 31 women who were killed, 27 were at the hands of either husbands, partners or former husbands/boyfriends. The other four also had family ties: a brother-in-law, the daughter’s ex-partner, a brother and in the infamous case of Sylvia King, it was the former husband of the friend she was helping to escape domestic abuse.

There is an undeniable link between a certain type of man who cannot handle “his” woman leaving him or who has thwarted him in some way, and the decision he takes to eliminate her from this earth. He would rather see her dead than know that she is happy with someone else, or even alone and happy. If he cannot have her, there, under his thumb, under his complete and utter control, then no one else can. Unless we address this underlying core issue in the psyche of some men, domestic violence will never be curbed. We are seeing young boys growing up in the shadow of their angry fathers who are unable to control themselves when faced with what they perceive as defiance from a woman. It is what they know, what they are familiar with, and they will perpetuate this cycle unless someone intervenes to break it.

We cannot keep compiling these lists and gasping over graphic, shocking details of how these women died without zeroing in on the roots of this very sinister malaise in our society. We need to examine why there is so much anger and even hatred towards women. Why is it when this topic comes up there are those who still insist that it is women themselves who are “triggering” the violence? “Who knows what she did to him?” is a line that is repeated again and again. I find it depressing when even women themselves take this stance, as if snuffing out someone’s life can ever be justified because of a bruised ego.

Invariably we read during the arraignment or trial of DV cases that the man “flipped” or “lost it” because of something the woman did. Can you imagine the national outrage if women had to go ballistic and take matters into their own hands every time their husband behaved badly or their boyfriend broke up with them?

There has to be more work done from a young age, in schools and using outreach programmes to work with families where reacting to a disagreement with violence is treated as a normal reflex. Teenagers and 20 somethings must be reached somehow in an age where macho behaviour is ridiculously glorified. We cannot keep raising generations of boys who think a girlfriend automatically becomes their possession, or girls who are secretly thrilled that their jealous boyfriend will punch anyone who looks at them twice, thus proving their love.

Next time, honey, you can be sure it will be you he punches.

The cost of a life

The public often asks whether the sentences which are handed down truly reflect the gravity of these crimes. In the past a man could even get a lighter sentence if he claimed it was a “crime of passion” or that he was “provoked” but thankfully that line of defence can no longer be used after the Criminal Code was reformed. Pleas of insanity at the time the crime was committed have also been used by the accused in order for them to be able to serve their sentence at the forensic section at Mt Carmel rather than in prison. This requires a trial specifically to determine whether the person was of sound mind, even before the actual trial begins, which is why so many murder cases drag on in court for years.

On researching the sentences which were handed down for the aforementioned DV murders, these have ranged from the maximum life sentences to 40, 30, 25 and 10 years. Perhaps the most shocking sentence was a mere 4 years in the case of Grazio Gerada who butchered his wife Diane Gerada in 1993 by stabbing her 23 times; the court ruled he had acted “under provocation”.

Four men killed themselves immediately after killing the woman. In 2024, Edward Johnston who killed his former girlfriend Nicolette Ghirxi, was shot and killed by police the next day after a three hour stand off. Two men died while serving their sentences.

Meanwhile, the following cases are still pending a trial date or remain unsolved for various reasons:

•   6 years later, the case of Chantelle Chetcuti, killed by former partner Justin Borg, still doesn’t have a trial date due to delays. However family members were recently informed that they are close to getting a date. Meanwhile Borg was granted bail 8 months after the murder.

•   10 years later no trial date has been set yet for the murder of Eleanor Walker (Mangion) who was killed by her estranged husband Andrew Mangion due to severe delays in justice system and prolonged pre-trial battles. Despite confessing to police, his statements were deemed inadmissible because he had no lawyer present. He was granted bail just a year after his arrest.

•   11 years later, Eddine G Ibrahim from Libya is still on the run after fleeing the country following the murder of his ex-wife Silvana Muscat

•   14 years later, the case of Meryem Bugeja (pregnant with twins) remains unsolved. Her estranged husband was a prime suspect but there was a lack of evidence linking him to the crime. DNA testing later showed he was not the father of the unborn twins.

•   15 years later, Mustafa Kosogeli from Turkey, the prime suspect in the killing of Irena Abadzhieva, is still on the run despite European and international arrest warrants being issued. 

•   18 years after murdering Charlene Farrugia, and 7 years after John Woods confessed, the trial hasn’t been held yet.  During his arraignment he pleaded not guilty so the case must first proceed through a Bill of Indictment. He has been in prison custody since 2019 on a separate conviction of armed robbery.

•   32 years later, the 1994 murder of Maria Cardona remains a cold case. Despite her husband being a prime suspect there was not enough evidence against him

May all the above women finally get the justice they reserve. May we come to a time when we do not have to keep adding another name to these tragic lists.