Wednesday 12 December 2018

Ruining relationships since 2004

BY CHARLENE SCHEMBRI

Mark Zuckerberg is accountable for a zillion ruined relationships since 2004. Yes, the creator of the ubiquitous Facebook machine should be liable for most breakups since then. There are various studies and statistics about the phenomenon which is the correlation between facebook and relationships. Statistics basically state that everyone uses facebook all the time. Not very informed as to numbers but you can read more on that here. Now, what is all this fuss about facebook and relationships? It has been proven that facebook increases jealousy between partners due to a good number of reasons. Here, let me list them:

  1. Before the relationship even starts we are checking our prospective mate’s facebook profile. We look at the friends they have, the sort of language they use, and the sort of posts they post;  yes, at all the information possible. Also, we determine whether the person is single or not, and then we determine how best to proceed.
  1. If the relationship starts we continue to monitor our partner’s facebook to make sure no one is encroaching on our ground. Plus, we are suspicious. Who does he chat to while he is chatting with me? Who is messaging her in private? And why did that guy comment on her previous photos? And not any more?
  1. When the relationship continues there is the issue of whether to put a conjoint status of being ‘in a relationship’ and whether it should link directly to the partner’s profile. This may raise arguments as to privacy rules, not wanting to show off, or wanting to show off, or wanting to hide, or not being committed enough.
  1. If the relationship continues some more you can go back to number 2, because all those questions are not laid aside. Also, there are new questions, such as why haven’t you deleted those friends which I disapprove of/you have slept with/you have snogged/you have had a random coffee on a random day with.
  1. When the relationship is in trouble we start arguing constantly about new pictures taken while the partner is out on their own or at a work thing. We look up all his colleagues and check out all her friends. We try to hack the partner’s account and feel stupid yet justified… you find some random message which probably could not mean less to your partner but you’re in a rage… you’re catching my drift, so we find out that at number 6;
  1. The relationship ends and then it’s a competition of who deletes whom first, who makes new friends first, who gets to set a new ‘in a relationship status’, and so on and so forth. Also, we monitor our exes’ profiles and their exes’ profiles. And we are back to number one.

So are all relationships on facebook doomed? Wait, but are relationships real or a facebook construct? Which came first? It is confusing, yes. Personally, I believe that all of the above can happen to either gender, male or female. In reality, it all depends on your character, your judgement, your morals, and your privacy settings.

The rest is the usual normal human interaction taking its course.  

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