This article first appeared in the Sunday edition of Malta Today 

The story on everyone’s lips over the last few days has been the alleged abuse which took place at a state secondary school. It is being alleged that a 32-year-old teacher and his male teenage students held a 14-year-old girl against her will and molested her. It is also being claimed that they took photos of the girl and posted them to Snapchat.
Meanwhile, other allegations have poured in against the same teacher, namely that he showed students pornographic material on his phone and used to make lewd comments to the girls in the class.

At the time of writing, this teacher and the boys have been suspended as the case is still being investigated, so I will stop there. But this story cannot be viewed in isolation because it comes in the wake of other instances of sexual abuse against minors which have become all too rampant.

According to Deborah Vassallo, the administrator of the 179 hotline, seven children are saved from sexual exploitation every day. When I saw that figure I had to read it twice to make sure I understood it correctly. For so many children to be at risk it means that there are quite a lot of adults out there who are pedophiles. It is very difficult to comprehend that lurking within our supposedly family-loving society, we have such a lot of sickos. But there it is. Ms Vassallo was right in urging parents not to post photos of their children in their underwear, and to be more vigilant about what children themselves are posting online. Why make it easier for those on the prowl to indulge in their sick fantasies?

On the other hand, we are often told that when it comes to abuse, the culprit always tends to be someone who is already known to the child or teenager, as it is easier for a pervert to “groom” someone with whom they are in constant contact. I can think of nothing worse than to realise that someone in one’s own family, or a trusted friend, has molested a child who was entrusted into their care.

What I don’t agree with are the sweeping statements that co-ed schools or sexual education have anything to do with sexual abuse. Co-education teaches children that it is possible to be friends with someone of the opposite gender without it becoming sexual and can go a long way towards removing the pre-conceived notions and stereotypes which boys and girls may have about one another. And it should go without saying that teaching children how their bodies work, and the implications and responsibilities of becoming sexually active should never be seen as a negative thing, because sex is a part of life and should not be treated as something dirty or taboo. I would think it is when people are unnaturally repressed and taught to look at sex as a dirty, guilt-ridden, little secret that there is a greater possibility of that person become a deviant.

There is also this habit of trying to blame sexual abuse on the fact that our society has become more liberal, or as we say in Maltese “qisu xejn mhu xejn” (anything goes). But as I stated in a previous article, “being liberal” is often mistaken as a code word for having a “free for all”, which is a very mistaken interpretation. A liberal-thinking society means that we do not interfere in other people’s private lives (i.e. consenting adults). It does not mean that sexual predators can have their way with vulnerable, underage teenagers and children. That is one of the reasons I am against lowering the age of consent to 16, because it simply opens the floodgates for more adults to corrupt minors, and this time with the blessing of the state. While we all know that many teenagers under 18 are sexually active, there is a world of difference between say, two 16-year-olds having sex, and a 16-year-old with a 25-year-old. And if you cannot see any difference, well, that is very troubling.

Sexual perversion is nothing new of course; it has existed since the dawn of time. There have always been those who are not gratified by normal sex and who need to go into darker and darker forms of sexual acts in order to get their kicks. But the proliferation of sexual crimes is definitely increasing, not only because they make the news immediately so we are more aware of them, but I think it’s also because we have become a jaded, blasé society which needs more of everything in order to feel satisfied. Our senses are continuously being bombarded to indulge in excess, and I think sex is just one more commodity which is being packaged for us to consume. Now, most of us do not turn to sexual abuse because it goes against our nature and we know right from wrong. Consensual sex between adults over 18 is one thing, but there are certain “don’ts” which the majority of us are fully aware of.

Most of us not only know that children are off limits but the very thought of such an act is nauseating and horrifying. Most of us know that if we are in certain positions of authority such as teaching, coaching, youth work or a member of the clergy, which brings us into contact with impressionable children and randy teenagers, our role precludes us from crossing the line into familiarity which can lead into dangerous, murky waters. If you are not aware that this is wrong, you are definitely in the wrong profession. With so many cases of abuse being reported, maybe it is time to have a system of more thorough vetting before people are allowed to be in direct contact with children and minors. It should not simply be a matter of reading for a degree or a diploma in order to get your warrant and voila’ you are thrust into a classroom of kids.

In the wake of all this, we had the other case of a 21-year-old woman who lied about being raped by a bus driver, when CCTV footage proved the sex was consensual. The worrying thing about these stories is that when girls/women lie about rape or assault, it makes it that much harder for genuine victims to be believed. In fact, the first (knee-jerk) reaction about the student being assaulted by the teacher and boys in the classroom was that the girl was lying.

Sex is not only everywhere, there’s simply no escaping it. PV has changed from an area full of nightclubs and bars to what looks like a red light district lined with strip clubs. Porn and nudity are on our TV channels at any time of day, on our PC and even on our mobiles if we wish, so shielding minors from it has become harder and harder. Sexualization has started earlier; girls are bombarded with messages to pout and be sexy and are in a constant battle with their parents because they yearn to look older. But as sexual abuse cases rise, the answer is certainly not to always blame girls or women for inviting the sexual assaults. Nor should we excuse boys and men because “they cannot help it”. If you ask me, even men and boys are victims because our overly-sexualized society encourages them to look at the opposite sex as an object for their gratification. If they don’t, they are not considered “man enough”.

Ultimately, there is no getting round it: it is the adults and those in authority who have to set the standards. No matter how exhausting it may be, it is imperative for parents not to give up – teenagers have plenty of years ahead to be sexual, the rest of their lives in fact. And when you look back, starting too young will not seem like such a great idea when you are washed up at the age of 30 and are already bored by it all.