Photo credit: Maltarightnow

I really don’t want to know about politicians’ love lives. I don’t particularly care if he/she is romantic or even worse, “passionate”.  The idea of any of our politicians in passionate mode conjures up a lot of unwanted visions which I could well live without, thank you very much.

So when a few weeks ago I saw the Simon Busuttil interview with his girlfriend Kristina Chetcuti on Net TV, I could almost feel my toes literally curl in embarrassment, especially on her behalf. I tried to watch it all, I really did, but I only got about 1/3 of the way through (cringing the entire time) before I had to turn it off.

It cannot be easy to start going out with someone and have your relationship dissected and questioned in front of an audience’s prying eyes.  Who wants that kind of scrutiny, particularly if, by nature, one is an extremely private person?  The problem, of course, is that once a politician has accepted to appear with their significant other on one TV programme (namely, Xarabank, which relishes this kind of thing), then it becomes rather awkward to turn down an invitation from another media house.

Maybe there are people who love knowing all about the nitty gritty details of politicos’ lives, what they have for breakfast, where they go to the gym, how they met their husband/wife, who does the school run, and all the other 101 questions which are par for the course in what are known as “fluff interviews”. These are interviews which are more of a PR exercise to make the politician appear more acceptable and “one of the common people”, and are often encouraged by media consultants when someone who is running for election is lagging behind in the polls.

But frankly, I doubt whether such insights actually serve to make voters change their minds about a politician, but merely reinforce what they have already decided anyway.  In other words, if I’m already predisposed to like/dislike either Simon Busuttil or Joseph Muscat as a politician, seeing the former with his girlfriend and seeing the latter with his wife and twins won’t make me change my mind. It will simply confirm my decision, because I will be looking for those little clues which tell me that I have made the right choice. I think that is simply human nature.  It works the same with celebrities or TV presenters whom you love or can’t stand; the more you learn about them, the more you feel vindicated that your judgment of them was correct because your perception is skewed to begin with and you will see them in a good or bad light accordingly.

The problem with all this personal information about politicians is that once they have opened the window wide into their private life for the media to poke its nose in, they have to accept the consequences.  Their lives have now become public property and everyone is free to criticize and pass judgment.

Just ask Ed Miliband who (presumably on the advice of his team), opened up his home to pose with his wife in their kitchen. What possible harm could come out of that, right? Wrong.

Apparently, the couple have two kitchens: one they barely use, and the one they posed in, which is more of a functional kitchenette.  (When I read this I thought these two could almost be of Maltese origin because this practice of not actually using the “nice” kitchen is something I have seen in some Maltese homes).  Predictably, Ed’s kitchen has led to a media fire storm, with reactions ranging from “I couldn’t care less about his kitchen” to “why do they have such a drab kitchen?” to “but why would anyone have two kitchens?”.

Has it helped his image one iota? Nope.

As pointed out so succinctly by The Telegraph’s Dan Hodge :

He decided to pose for the cameras in his home with his wife because he felt he had to. He knows he’s losing the election. He thinks one of the reasons he’s losing is the perception there’s something a bit otherwordly or “weird” about him, (he’s wrong about that by the way). So he cast his doubts aside, and told himself: “I guess this is what I signed up for. I hate doing it, but I suppose I don’t have any choice.” Then he threw open the gates, and let the barbarians in.

It is telling that embedded in the same article, there is a video entitled, “Watch Miliband’s awkward kiss with his wife”. This kissing business is another bone of contention: come on, how many people would really feel comfortable exchanging a kiss in front of cameras and millions of people?  No matter how the kiss is executed in those circumstances it is ALWAYS going to be slightly awkward and I can imagine the couple’s dilemma: was it too much, too little, should I have gone for a peck on the check or full on the mouth? If someone turns their face slightly at the wrong moment it could look that there was no kiss intended or the kiss was being avoided (which is even more embarrassing).   

And what does this all have to do with the politician’s ability to represent or lead the country anyway?  Well, if we had to take a look back at some of the world’s most effective leaders, not much. Clinton, JFK and now apparently according to latest reports, even Martin Luther King were notorious womanizers who treated their respective wives quite badly.  Barack and Michelle Obama, on the other hand, epitomize a couple which is perfectly at ease with each other; apart from having that elusive ‘cool’ factor, they are both quite likable and very media friendly. And yet, the US President’s approval ratings are at an all time low, with many who voted for him now saying that they are disappointed with what they describe as his weak, ineffectual leadership.

Ultimately, I really cannot understand this insistence by PR advisors to open up one’s personal life to the public in the hope that it will get a politician elected.  It is particularly unfair that wives, girlfriends and children, who never asked for this, are dragged into the fray of what often becomes a media circus with cruel, cutting remarks by commentators who relish nothing more than carrying out a hatchet job on this glimpse into someone’s most intimate relationships.   

To quote Dan Hodge once again,

“… the first rule should be, stop the entrapment. Stop badgering the politicians for “soft-focus” glimpses into their private lives. Place the families and the houses and the second kitchens completely out of bounds. And that way we can introduce the second rule. If you, as politician, still want to blur the lines between your public and private lives, fine, but it’s on your head.”