For a long time I did not know how I felt about gay people adopting children.

Well, to be more precise, I kept veering between two mindsets. Sometimes I felt I did not agree with it, because the child (without his/her knowledge or consent) was going to be placed into a home which did not conform to the formula of man + woman, and might suffer social stigmatization as a result.  But this feeling would be quickly stomped on by the liberal part of my brain which would ask, “who are you to decide what is best for others?”

Indeed, as we have seen from court reports in the past, who is to say that man + woman is the magic formula for a successful adoption and a child who grows up well-adjusted and happy?

My internal to-ing and fro-ing stems from the fact that when it comes to the welfare of children, I lean more towards conservatism. Where children are concerned there is no live and let live, no being cool and hip and “with it”. Children, in my view, need protection, the utmost care, and the best nurturing environment possible.  They need structure, rules and stability, until the age when they can rebel and fight back against the rules as teenagers have always done since time immemorial.

This is why I often found myself against a brick wall when it came to deciding how I felt about gays adopting children.  Can a gay couple provide that structure and stability?  Thinking about it rationally, my conclusion is, sure, why not?  Can a gay lifestyle be healthy for a child who needs guidance and boundaries? Well the way I look at it, just as a couple needs to alter their lifestyle and stop going to nightclubs and staying out all night once the kids arrive, so too should a gay couple.  Adult behaviour and language around children should always be monitored no matter whether you are gay or straight.

When I look around at how many heterosexual couples were obviously not fit to be biological parents, and yet have brought children into the world whom they abuse and neglect, having gay parents doesn’t seem like such a big deal after all.

The more I learn about gay couples who have adopted, and the more I come across blogs such as Alison Bezzina’s, I realise that what we are doing is depriving children who are neglected and starving from finding a potentially loving, caring home.

Given the choice between a child being raised by two people of the same sex who love him/her, and leaving that child to wallow in misery and poverty, I know which one I would choose.