UPDATED: The pig race has since been cancelled

This blog first appeared on Malta Today

Move over Mr Gorilla. You are no longer in the news.

In the latest edition of Animal Outrage, this week it is the turn of the harmless little piglet to be taken up as people’s latest cause of the week.

It all started with the announcement a few week back that the village of Zejtun had come up with its own idea for a festival which has become all the rage with our local councils. I can just imagine that committee meeting now…

There they were, all gathered round, their brows furrowed deep in thought. They were in a bit of a pickle (sorry, couldn’t resist) because olive oil, ricotta, bread, potatoes, strawberries, bananas and even nutella have all been taken, so I could imagine the councillors sitting round a table tapping their pencils and frowning in consternation. “Think, think! We need a food product, a fruit, a vegetable, something different, something everyone loves!”
Then after several hours of profound deliberation, someone had a lightbulb moment, “Hey, I know…bacon!”
However, not everyone was immediately on board, “Bacon?” another person asked dubiously, and with some trepidation . “Isn’t that sending out the wrong message, what with all those health reports saying we should stop eating so much meat because it is bad for us?”
But the objection of that one solitary dissident was like a voice in the wilderness which was quickly drowned out by the other voices clamouring for ba-con! ba-con! ba-con! as images of those rashers swirled in their heads.

So the bacon festival was born, and following swiftly on its heels erupted what has come to be known as the Three Day Vegan war. For three consecutive days, vegetarians hurled insults at the bacon lovers, accusing them of the most despicable of crimes, while those who love to munch on bacon sneered and jeered at the vegans whom they described as just plain old party poopers. “Go back to your tofu!” cried one side. “Animal murderers!” shrieked the others. Vegans swore undying allegiance to the hapless pig, and not to be outdone the bacon festival organizers posted taunting photos of the delectable delight on their Facebook page while taking swipes at their arch nemesis.

However, nothing but nothing could have prepared the nation for what would come next. Just as emotions had calmed down (mostly because everyone had run out of steam as they couldn’t think of anything else to say), the festival organizers in what can only be described as a deliberate Machiavellian attempt to twist the knife even further, announced that there would be…a pig race.

The stunned silence which followed this news only lasted around 0.000005 seconds, before all hell proverbially broke loose. The first to break the silence was Mario Galea, Opposition shadow Minister for Animal Welfare.
“When God created pigs, he definitely wouldn’t have imagined that humans would one day have them racing in the streets.”
Determined to stop the races from taking place, Mr Galea insisted he would even consider a sit-down protest on the day if Animal Welfare did not step in before then.

And yes, I promise that he actually said that. Even I couldn’t make something like that up. I have read and re-read it and each time I just could not keep a straight face because it sounds like something straight out of Monty Python.

Now, of course, I have no desire for any pigs to suffer. Although seeing that it is a bacon festival, I think that ship has sailed. However, the way that anything related to animals immediately triggers such an outpouring of collective angst is something which both intrigues and perplexes me.

In his article Why people care more about pets than other humans http://www.wired.com/2015/04/people-care-pets-humans/
Professor of Psychology Hal Herzog writes that “Newspaper editors tell me stories about animal abuse often generate more responses from upset readers than articles about violence directed toward humans.” And he points to several studies which have concluded that, in certain circumstances, yes people do value animals more. Sociologists Arluke and Levin state that “The critical difference in responses to the stories was based on our special concern for creatures that are innocent and defenseless.”

What I find particularly fascinating is why this (sometimes OTT) animal-loving phenomenon has escalated so much in Malta lately. On the one hand it is a positive thing, but on the other hand I sometimes wonder whether it is a counter-reaction to something else. Maybe it’s because we are so often let down in our relationships with our much more complex, fellow human beings that the simplicity and straightforward unconditional love of an animal, which is not fraught with the complicated tangle of emotions, is frankly, much easier to deal with.

Now that’s food for thought.